Perfect Day

It's been a while since I wrote last. My last post was from my road trip/couch surfing adventure in Texas and Louisiana. Sadly, that time is over. The week was riddled with surprises, joys, singing, dancing, discoveries, new friends, many miles, sights, and smiles. But I cannot write about it now, because that time has past and a new day is here. Writing about some of the details here would be fun, but useless. I'd be rambling and wasting the time I should be writing about today.

The irony of writing about today is that there's nothing really significant about it. It is like a plain yogurt, organic and a bit tart. It's past 3pm and I haven't accomplished one thing. You might be surprised, but I do not care; I do not want to care or worry about it. I didn't even get my jog in this morning like I had written down on my planner. 

Learning to feel and think this way has not been easy, because for most of my life, I've derived my self-worth by the things that I accomplished in my day. When I was productive, watching the clock to avoid wasting precious minutes, or at my job making money, my opinion about myself was positive. However, on the flip-side, lazy days like today made me feel worthless and like a failure. Feeding this appetite was my high school, college, and grad school assignments. Handing in homework made me feel like a million bucks, especially if I knew I would get an A.

Now that I've earned my degrees, my whole world has been flipped upside down. I no longer have any tasks to complete to satisfy my self-worth needs. I don't even have a job (which I still really need). Initially, I was very restless and didn't know what to do with myself. My whole life, before walking graduation, had been built upon achieving and building myself up through the things I did.

Things are different now. God began to reveal to me that he loves/likes me no matter what I accomplish in my day. It doesn't matter if I feed the homeless or watch TV all day (FYI feeding the homeless is a lot cooler). Still, he loves me the same, and that's a whole lot. 

There's a chorus I wrote in my song, Perfect Day that goes like this: "Oh, you gotta love it, Enjoy every moment. There's only one like it, so savor what's left it's all you got." I've been sitting in The Woods Coffee on Boulevard Park reading, writing, and occasionally gazing out toward the bay and the islands in the backdrop. It's a good day. Maybe even a perfect day.